ذا لاي ان اول اوف اس

"The person you think you are, the person people think you are, the person you really are, and the person you want to be.
That's life pretty much summed up right there, and I'm here to do you a favour. In telling you that none of them exist. They're four parts to the simplest of complications that can have no function due to the unforgiving fact that they can never hold value to ever constitute variables added to equate a changing consequence accordingly. If they all did exist, that would make you a hypocrite. But if they don't exist, which take my word for it, they don't; then you're shit out of luck and wasting everybody's space and time.
Lovers? Husbands? Wives? Family? Friends? Sure, if that's what you want to call them. Reality would contend that, inside, they know just as well as you do that you're all merely in mutual agreement on not to call each other out on the lies you live by.
Consider. You had it all mixed up all these years. Enemies are indeed your best friends since they're the only reminder you recieve that you can't fool everybody with juggling between the four potentials. Way I see it, you don't hate your enemies because they don't like you. You hate your enemies because you can't have what they have: seeing you for who you really are: fractions of an unexisting entity. Challenging the sheer consideration of presence, let alone memories and experience.
There is nothing to be proven. It is already known. It's just a matter of how brutally honest one can really be with an imaginative oneself. Consider. The only reason you hold on to all your convictions of the validity and right of a single you, who and what you are, as if you are holding on to dear life, is because you are in fact holding on to dear life. Perspective-based, that is. Hence, reality is a notion that never actually realized in itself."

غرووّنق أب أن-تايملي

Tip of the side of your eyes, to the border of the temple, there goes the first thing which sort of levels when you lose something. A curve of inclination retracts, and fades, a subdued hint of an approaching nose-dive-like parameter of your lips appears. Only thing separating it from a complete utter frown is the tension you have in the back of your jaw, stretching out your cheeks in a ghostly manner, yet still showcases the epitome of basic human emotions. Feeling loss is one thing you can both alter to what extent affects you, or to what consequence it ensues based on how you deal with it. But that's about all you can really do. With sharper eyes, perfect horizontal symmetry of the mouth blurring any attempt at smiles, a locked jaw to the lower set of your teeth, and a slightly more apparent slanted nose because you forget to take your breath every couple of seconds since you're too busy dwelling in memories. When you lose something, there's nothing you can do about looking the part. When you lose your mother, you are the fucking part.

وورث أسبايـَـرنق تو ماري إنتو

A father-in-law who:
- gets the fact that you respectfully decline any cash gifts/offerings (especially in the summers) because you really happen to respectfully be in love with his daughter
- can take charge of a conversation that is in essence opposed to the common practices of "jasoom elba7ar"
- actually conservative in nature, but openly accepting of all things he does not totally agree with
- is on a first name basis with everybody you have no choice but to refer to as 'il3am' even if not in your immediate presence
- appreciates the Corvette and/or chevy truck you sport every two or so weekends when you make it to the madame's family dinner

A mother-in-law who:
- gets the fact that you respectfully decline the immaculately served dishes she prepared with excess overdoses of fats and sugars because her daughter is really that much into her husband sporting a majorly defined six pack, wela chan 7ad ommen yabat feel abraha mako mani3 elwa7id yemed eeda
- does not take it personally when you voice your unnecessarily agreeing opinion about the egyptian/syrian tv show she's been hooked on
- understands that just because you and the mrs haven't yet gotten pregnant does not mean that you're not basically acting as two rabbits merrily in love on top of a moonlit mountain top well into the better hours of early morning when you're alone, but are taking your time
- truthfully and honestly becomes best friends with your mother before they go 'grand' on the same offspring

A brother-in-law who:
- knows all about your shameful past (of racing the afore mentioned corvette, and or, the supercharged old school chevy truck) but full-heartedly believes that you changed for his sister, and never ever reveals anything to anyone in his family about said past despite all the Code Reds in it under the Men's Treaty of Mutual Courtesy
- is not a police officer/army officer/madri sheno yeshteghel bel7aras belengelaizy officer/mowathaf bel she'oon
- goes to your gym, has the same portfolio of stock picks you do, is on a first name basis with the sons of who you both have to refer to with 'il3am' even if not in your immediate presence
- ma yeshaje3 la barcelona wala manchester united

A sister-in-law who:
- you know you'd be doing one of your best friends the biggest favour EVER if you tell him to ask for her hand
- is notorious for her wicked ways of preparing dessert, most importantly anything frozen with the addition of bloody BISHKITZ
- can hold her own when you argue with her over the latest results and table standings of the english premier league
- tekon metkharja mn ay koleya ma 3ada il3eloom

Most importantly, a wife who:
- does not make a fuss about morning coffee, does not order her coffee from starbucks or any other coffee place for that matter, yoba has never even been to starbucks or ever have ordered anything from a place like it, o ya 7abatha if she does not drink coffee moleya ba3ad mara wa7da
- knows a lot of things about a lot of things .. so much in fact that she knows who 'bo 7anan' refers to
- not only can you talk to about anything .. ANYTHING (except, mm, coffee?) .. but makes you want to talk to her about everything

المتر جم يطق؟

Things that tend to get on my nerve and almost always get me into trouble when discussing. But then again that may be due to the fact that I don't dis-anything, and tend to do a lot of the cussing:

• Self-claimed liberals iterating their disapproval of the activities held by self-claimed islamists that are directed at the youth (camps and what not). As they spend, you spend. And no, dinners 3ala sharaf eflaan ely tawah rad mn el3elaaj don't count, nor do the news conferences held as a reaction to something self-claimed islamists originally threw in the field begging you to hold a conference in reaction to. Conclusion: disapproving the outcome of what others initiate does not hinder the continuance of similar initiations in the future, nor does it undo the effect it has already founded for you to see and comment on in the outcome. Initiate something other than insisting on kissing the lady's cheek when you greet her eb jam3eyat elkhereejeen o enshala mako ela kel khair.
• A girl gaining extra points on the Hot or Not scale depending on the brands she's wearing, or the car she's driving. So I'm just gonna come out and say it since I'm sporting the 18+ icon up there on the screen: I don't get the attraction in wanting to fuck a Miu Miu bag, nor the behind of a new Maserati. What ever happened to being sort of an old school, more of a legs kinda guy.
  
• People insisting on telling me things like: "carbohydrates are the reason why i'm not losing weight, so i cut them down from my diet" when we talk working out routines and nutrition; and then as an alternative to cutting down carbs, they order 20 chicken nuggets from Themanya o Thimaneen (peeling the skin off before eating, in their defense) with their reasoning being: "bet3alem dr 7sain dashti ya3ni?". Eeh wala ba3alma shlon ya3ni, khal yedig 3alay ..
• The thesis: "ent e7mid rabik, 3ayish a7san 3eesha belkwait, kelshay metwafir lek fa lateg3ad te6la3ly eb sowalef demogra6eya o majlis ma majlis, khal ye7elona o neftak mara wa lel abad". Mofo, the one thing making us 'na7mid rabna ena 3aysheen belkwait' is whatever rights issued by default to yourself and I (as citizens or otherwise) in the constitution.Tabi talqi elmajlis, talqi eldistoor. Talqi eldistoor, talqi the rights given to you that make in turn enek 'ta7mid rabik' laish 3ayesh belkwait. *blank*
  
• Idolizing politicians. Be it on the grounds of their long history in the field (read: a7mad ilse3doun), or their newly known stances on certain issues which happen to coincide with how you feel/think. In both short term and long, the only thing idolizing politicians will do is just weaken your arguments. Appreciate, but nothing more.
• Just as much: expressing unrelenting animosity and hostility towards the other politicians who bat for the other team (that came out wrong). Same reason as afore mentioned.
• Whining about the Kuwait stock exchange as lacking this or that, and only being suitable for eflaan o falantaan. All it is is incompetence on your part when it comes to understanding/researching the: what, when, and who. 3ashaw rab3 elsoug..
  
• You studied abroad, you graduated, you came back, and now you are stunned from the state your country is in. No harm done. But stop acknowledging the problems, and start addressing them. Otherwise, shut the fuck up if you can't initiate an argument without basing it on anything different than "ayam kent bamreeka ..", "lama kena bebrai6anya ..", "we7na shella eb faransa .."

I conclude with saying something that has just occured to me o kelesh malah sheghel bely foug abad: new meaning can be added to one's understanding of guilt when one makes a baby cry. And new found purpose can be found in one's life when one makes a baby clap and sing (as far as 'singing' for a baby goes)

سبعتعش ربيع الأول إن أدفانس

A few days-early-a-post depending on the way I swing, but thought I would (share and) focus on this part of a poem I read just now nonetheless. Says a lot of things about a lot of things if you make the connection.

البعض يزعم ان عيدك بدعة
ونفوسهم بقيامه لم تسعد
والاحتفال به يعد تجاوزا
وجوازه في الدين غير مؤكد
حتى الزيارة لا يجوز أداؤها
لك بل يتم أداؤها للمسجد
هذا لعمري فعل كل مكابر
ظهر الجفاء بنهجه المتجمد
لولاه لم تك للمساجد حرمة
أو أشرقت سبل الهدى لموحد
لكنه الجهل المقيت لأنفس
جبلت على أغوار معدنها الصدي

قصيدة للعم علي المتروك

Because this is a dear celebration and I would not mind bringing it home early, and since I admire the poet, here is the rest of the poem as published bel Qabas on April 2nd, 2007 with my own colouring (bedoon la 'a6alli3 bara') for an easier read and following of verse.

قالت عرفتك للقريض مرددا
فعلام صمتك يوم عيد المولد
إني عهدتك للقوافي مالكا
تنساب بين يديك كالغصن الندي
ما غيرت منك الليالي خافقا
شغفا بآل محمد ومحمد
فتعال ننشد يوم أشرق نوره
فلكم يطيب به النشيد لمنشد
فالعيد لطف الله نحو عباده
بدر يضيء بنوره المتوقد
العيد آيات تنور دربنا
ومبادئ غراء لم تستورد
والعيد وحدانية وعبادة
وبشارة للخاشعين السجد

إيه قوافي الشعر كيف لشاعر
أن يهتدي سبل المديح بمنجد
والله جل جلاله أسرى به
وهو المشفع بالخلائق في غد

فإذا صمت تهيبا عن مدحه
لعظيم هيبة مجده المتفرد
وإذا شدوت تيمنا وتبركا
لا مادحا في عيد مولد أحمد
حبي لآل المصطفى والمصطفى
نهج أدين به وفيه تعبدي

ولدته آمنة فضجت حولها
الأملاك بالبشرى تروح وتغتدي
أرخت عليه ستائرا قدسية
لتعده يوما لأنبل مقصد
جاء المسيح مبشرا بقدومه
والكون أشرق بانتظار الموعد
فتعال ننهل من صفاء معينه
نبعا صفا رقراقه كالعسجد
عم السرور بطاح مكة فارتدت
ثوبا قشيبا مثله لم ترتد
خمدت به النيران وازدهت الربا
وعلا سناء فوق هام الفرقد

ذاك اليتيم فلا نظير لمجده
بهداه كل بني الخليقة تهتدي
وبنور طلعته ينير طريقها
فلطالما عاشت بليل سرمد
كانت دياجير الظلام تلفهم
والجهل يغرقهم بليل أنكد
لا الفكر يجمعهم ليحزم أمرهم
ويقود ركبهم لرأي مرشد
متخاصمون تذيبهم أحقادهم
كالنار يذكيها لهيب الموقد
فإذا بهم بعد الهداية أمة
تهفو إلى سبل العلا والسؤدد
دانت لهم أمم وقامت دولة
كانت بفضل الدين أعظم مرصد

البعض يزعم ان عيدك بدعة
ونفوسهم بقيامه لم تسعد
والاحتفال به يعد تجاوزا
وجوازه في الدين غير مؤكد
حتى الزيارة لا يجوز أداؤها
لك بل يتم أداؤها للمسجد
هذا لعمري فعل كل مكابر
ظهر الجفاء بنهجه المتجمد
لولاه لم تك للمساجد حرمة
أو أشرقت سبل الهدى لموحد
لكنه الجهل المقيت لأنفس
جبلت على أغوار معدنها الصدي

Ta7therny abyaat elshaa3ir 7asaan Bn Thaabit:

أحسن منك لم تر قط عيني وخير منك لم تلد النساء
خلقت مبرأ من كل عيب كأنك قد خلقت كما تشاء

In So Many Words

"As has been learnt as of late, that indeed what does not live nor last for longer than a fraction of whatever words I may utter, echoes everlastingly in the now vast emptiness of your heart. For that, I am compelled to at last attempt at accepting blame for my actions foreknowingly aware that such will only deepen hurts long gone and worsen the chance for a truce in the future.
Thoughts best described as impure, and intentions far less evil if settled for being called dishonorable, that is what I commit myself to now to describe what I have had towards you. Not that you did not have your suspicions, but a man would like to think that he would go far further distances under the pretense of having led, than of having to follow. A love abused that which obviously has meant everything to you except for the one thing it meant to myself. Nothing. Even in my current state of being consciously attached to the history of who we are and under the liberty I have taken to guess the fondness you had thinking of what we were, I feel nothing. A little bit of shame, perhaps. But not sorrow. A hint of compassion, of course. But not mercy. Fairest is to say things have been the same despite your absence. A dent forever engraved in my being is something which I assume to be for you of unfortune that I report has not occured. Scents, whispers, and touches have meant a lot more.
I believe a woman can go from undying love to absolute hate towards the one who she at a point in time sees clearly was never too fond of her for the same set of reasons she would have rather been appreciated for. With it, comes closure. For that, I write to you this letter sincerely believing that it is a much easier route taken than living with an unattended heart forever," I wrote her back.

فريبيسنق

"To hell with all the poetry, and too bad for the self claimed trying to put into words a description of the explanation for the state they're in in attempt to sell it for anything but what it truly is; misery. Fuck everything and everyone in between. It's not that complicated nor is it even second to your personal declaration of the non satisfaction you don't get from rapidly extsinguishing the juice of and for your aging process from all the bullshit that got you addicted to living in the first place. Trust, loyalty, honesty deprived. Everyone who ever tried to capture its essence was instead desperately trying to account for all the things immediately lost upon the act of using the single most powerful, certainly most popular drug and excuse of all time. No one ever said it wasn't real. It's just taken for granted. Surely may indeed be a reason for a lot of things that make you feel the world just stopped spinning, taking notice of your glee, that kodak moment only now it's frozen in thought in your drugged out mind for that passing shifting second. But it sure as hell is the one single undisputed reigning force making the planet turn round its axis pushing for all the things the world could do without. Love is freebasing life."