Great Expectations

Equilibrium. Equality of distribution. When two sides are working in any given situation, both parties should "work". That's the point of having 'two' in the first place. You expect the work to be done and over with faster, swifter.

So, I get a piece of paper from the Civil Service "allowing" me to leave before the set date to do my MA. By the book, I should leave February. Fuck the book. By bending the rules, I could leave December. Fuck the rules. By my way, I could leave this September. Fuck-not my way.

If I leave September, I will be doing a lot of people a lot of favors. Fa ya3ni mo ga3id "a3tedy 3ala 7ag a7ad", bel3aks. There will be one extra vacancy for those who will apply for the same job if I leave. There will be one less vacancy when I come back Inshaallah. There will be more periods for students to choose from. There will be a lot of things, all because of "my way". Fuck-not my way.

No, I am not trying to make the world a better place. I am just trying to achieve that which I have set for myself, you see, I take myself a bit too seriously.

Back to the paper, the condition is: "with approval of the Cultural Office".

A not-so-great-expectation-but-an-expectation-nontheless is that you assume that since I have chosen/applied to/admitted into a University which my Jehat 3amal and Kuwait University approved .. I would not need the "approval of the Cultural Office.

Is'alni laish. I did not make up the University. I got its name/site from a folder found at my place of work. It doesn't take a genius to guess that the folder's name was "Universities approved by the Cultural Office". Note that I am not going to mention the signatures I got from my place of work, and the fact that the letter I took to the Civil Service was actually in the 'name' of Kuwait University. Okay so I just did mention it.

Shsar bel denya etha ishtar6aw "approval of Cultural Office"? Wala shay. All it would take is an email asking "Do you approve?". If emails aren't considered official. All it would take is a fax: "Do you approve?". (A great expectation)

A very long story, long. Called Kuwait University a lot of times in 2 weeks. 14 days, minus 4 days weekends. 7anna is the word, if you were wondering. And they (she, go figure) says "ma wosalna shay", "ma wosalna shay", "YA MAMA, MA WOSALNA SHAY".

A great expectation would be the assumption that something can be done without your interference. Two weeks is a long time to wait for something you should not be waiting for, so I took it upon myself that I show them how to take care of business. I emailed a lot of addresses that I have found on the Cultural Office's website. I asked a friend in the UK to call them and talk directly to the person (a she, don't go figure) in charge.

To my mixture of amazement/amusement/anger/happiness, she has explained to my friend that she has infact recieved the fax AND that she has replied on the 22nd of July. Hal 7achi saar Wednesday the 27th. She later emailed me explaining what had happened. And I also got an email from the Director of the Cultural Office promising to "look into it". I respect that.
I just made it clear that I have called all last week, and all I got was "ma wosalna shay".

Great expectation: when the fax actually arrives, somebody will read it and call you. If not?
Great expectation: when the fax actually arrives, somebody will notify somebody else (asking whoever it is for). If not?
Great expectation: when you call and call, and yet call again urging to check whether a fax has been sent; you expect that after hanging up, that certain somebody you just talked to will ask "wosal fax b khesoos ...?" If not?
Fuck great expectations.

I'm not mad. I know it's not personal. I just can not afford the time, so yeah, I am mad and it is personal.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I appreciate stuff like this happening to me. They set me straight for "next time", and they give me a chance to remind myself of what I have always believed in: you take care of your own business.

Taking into consideration the fact that if something as simple as sending/recieving a fax and notifying the person concerned if and when that happens, is infact a GREAT expectation. What are we to expect when it comes to decision-making, for example, as opposed to 'routine procedure'.

It's kinda sad that everybody admits and names the time we live in as the "speed age", when it takes over two weeks to process an approval which was uncalled for in the first place.

Just a thought. Or maybe not. Fuck-not my way.

Negative Appreciation

I had a couple of car problems this week. Little did I know that once I was about to be done with one, another would start acting up all like a bitch. But now that I am at peace, I have come to an interesting conclusion. But more on that later on.

Everyone who has put up with me wana at'thamar 3al motar, you can stop saying "basee6a" and "ma 3alaih" now. Seriously, don't mention it next time. Allah laygola there is a next time. Anyway, here, this is what I am talking about.

This is a fine example for the consequences of picking on Lambos and Porsches. You basically have a little fun and get screwed afterwards. (For those who couldn't care less, el zebda ena lafeen rubber on rubber to prevent air escaping, i.e trying to maintain regulated airflow. Ayshay, nevermind.)

Meet the 'Sleeve' - no seriously, that's what it's called - I like to call it IL NABA6A:

This is the new part I got, which I'll replace the highlighted area in the first picture with. It took 10 days to be delivered, which goes to say how great Al Zayani is when it comes to cars. Bunch of morons if you ask me. Gabel la a7ad ya6mir wegool shay 3an el 10 days, what I meant was the wekala not having spare parts in the first place. Bitches.

I haven't got pictures of the other incident. But the idea is that I had two cars demanding immediate treatment than one. Which really can be a bit too much, espicially when having a whole bunch of other things on your mind.

Things like running around trying to be done with 'papers' in more than one place. Going back and forth and trying to make sense of the whole ordeal.

Things like organizing time to do all of the above, work out, check on progress of the above, pick siblings from school, being on time for appointments, and topped with "mat6awif yom bel dowaneya". All that in the record of three days.

If you're thinking I'm whining and trying to vent. Think again. Quite the opposite, I am saying that at times like these only does one appreciate life and what it has to bring. "Stop smiling, this isn't a joke".

You know how the common idea associated with the 'good life' include things like:
- a quiet environment
- sunny, but not hot/cool, but not cold weather
- money not-well-spent on perks you don't really need, but you convince yourself will enhance the quality of life
- stress free state of mind, nothing to worry about

I say to hell with that. I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy taking a lot of things for granted. Instead, my point is - you can't really appreciate something unless you really long for it to be the way you want it to be.

If you think about it, in the end you will the reach the same state of mind - that of peace and quiet and what not. Only difference is, you wouldn't really know what it's really worth until you keep on desiring it. Long shot, but why do you think people commit suicide? It's because they don't feel the excitement to reach whatever it is they look forward to. It's just "there". Sup widat?

You've probably stopped reading by now.

Anyway, what brought this to my attention was the fact that what you learn from and mostly talk about/tell stories of, isn't the exact moment of being over and done with an ordeal. It's the experiences you gathered as you took care of whatever it is you were taking care of.
I'm backing this up with the thought that whenever anyone is put in the same situation twice, he or she would know better the second time around; which is due to what I've been trying to say ever since this post started:

Things that you hate while doing, are the things that you - unknowningly - learn from and talk about later on labelling them as "experiences". Yet, no matter how many times you keep telling yourself that; as soon as you're in a situation where you can't wait to get out of, one would start to whine and ask "sh7aga bas ana ely yiseer feny chethy".

Right now, I'm thinking maybe I just said that because it's been a really stressful time and now bit by bit I'm starting to be done with what has been occupying most of my time. But truth of the matter is, I should know better.

Incompetence

It's everywhere. Incompetence is the lack of ability to understand/prove something as it truly is. It's also a big word in Linguistics, so for those of you who had that in mind, kindly disregard your 'competence' of the word 'incompetence' in that sense, for the sake of this post.

Wazeer il tarbiya is facing chances of being questioned in October, mainly in regard to the whole bi3thaat o shlon il ta3leem il 3aaly is running the show. Before I go on, there is also a misconception of the whole Istijwaab thing. It doesn't mean the minister is so and so, it doesn't mean anything but what it really is: a questioning. Shlonek zain? Ee walla 7amdilah. Wain el arba3ta3ash malyoon ely yetbayan enha gair modrraja fi kashf deewan el mo7asaba le a3maal rob3 elsenah, laken laha 7isba fi tagreer el meezaneya mn wizarat el maaliya lel 3aam il flaany?
See? Questions. I don't know what all the fuss is about.

With thanks to our press, all we get is the headlines. So yes, I do not know what the other 20 criteria of the questioning are. However, knowing only one criterion, I am already questioning the questioning (you lost me at the 14 million, didn't you?).

Why is the minimum TOEFL grade set so high for high-school graduates to earn scholarships?

I believe it is 500 for some majors, and 530 for others. That being said, is the MP seriously negligent to the fact that all universities have a minimum requirement for admission? Most importantly in this case, an English Language Proficiency requirement.

In other words, does the MP (il mo7taram.. and yes it's in brackets ya3ni Optional) think that Il Ta3leem Il 3aaly are the ones who set the minimum for the TOEFL? If so, then I don't know why they're presumed scholars and academics. Mind you, I'm not wondering "what the fuck" they're doing in Parliament in the first place.

Incompetence? Yes, indeed. You think I'm done? Not quite. You see, it's funny how one stupid thing would seem genius, in comparison to yet another stupid thing. I am referring to the fact that, after 3 days tagreeban, Ma3aaly Il Wazeer (Il mo7taram, wink wink) has not made it loud and clear that "We, the MOHE, do not set the minimum requirements, and so are not held accountable. It is what the Universities abroad require, and thus we can all rest our cases and go back to doing nothing but get richer in ways I do not want my kids to know are possible......................... YET!"

That said, we have the rare occurance of what I would like to call Simultaneous-Incompetence; which is basically two or more individuals daasheen o 6aal3een b mosa'alaat ma laha la awal wala taly, based on .. incompetence.
Bearing in mind that the individuals involved all have the prestigious "Daal dot" just before their names.

Another thing I would like to bring up, is the increasing number of "il wufood il nisaa'eya" to various countries. And by countries I mean the United States. Coincidentally, there's an article in Al Wa6an for A7mad M7amad Il Fahad (who by the way I disagree with most of the time), in which he discusses the same questions you ask yourself while looking at some of the pictures for el wefood el nesaa'eya. Who are these women? On what basis have they been "chosen"?

Okay, so both Wizarat Il I3laam wel Khaarijiya with its embassies are incapable of explaining what is going on and how the political field is now different. And what, Il wifoud il nisaa'eya are? This is a time where Il Islamiyeen would appear wise if they asked Wazeer Il She'oon as to why kel hal khabba, and who is paying for those visits.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for 'restricting' the scholarships to those who really deserve it. As much as I am firm on my stance when it comes to women's "social" rights, before being political. However, the matter at hand (at least as I personally see it), begs to make one say: Ma dam chethy nimaayen maskeen el salfa, la bilaah kadaina khair.

etha konta tadry .. fa tilka moseebatan
wa in konta tajhal .. fal moseebato a3thamo

Manhood

if ur hoping for a discussion about size, go fuck urself.. and if ur hoping for pics of some hot guys.. i dunno, call the guy who was looking forward to a size-related post and fuck him (?)

^ I'm not rude, I was trying to make a point. Read on, ishda3wa za3altaw.

The opening sentence above is what you would expect from a victim of a misleaded realizition of manhood. Bad words, silly remarks, aggresive attitude, agdar-ayeek-wanaam-feek dialogue.
Sad truth is, that is how many guys understand what being a man is all about: fighting, always having the last word, regarded as an upNcoming Rambo.

Chill, cursing is found on the basis to be used. So go ahead, add some flavor to what you have to say. Just know when, where, and in the company of whom.

I know guys who would tell me about something that happened (to them or otherwise, that's not the point), and I sense the deliberate adding of 'bad words'. Why? I wonder. The story will be just as interesting if it were kept U-rated. And so, I am left to believe that employment of bad words is there just to underline their manhood in red ink.

How do I back that up to those unconvinced?
I say what makes a 12yr old smoke? It's the misconception that by smoking, you skip a few steps of the maturing-ladder. "Dad smokes, he's a man. I'm gonna smoke. Da fuck you lookin at faggot?". Nigga, please.

Other than bad words, let me mention attitude. Abi wa7ed feekom ma sarat feeh salfat "shfeek tekhiz?". Okay, so you all keep to yourself and I don't. But it happens, I know and now you know. Bearing in mind that the addressee has not committed a hostile act, the only explanation of the Shfeek Tekhiz syndrome is that by addressing a person, the speaker imposes his 'manhood' in the sense that you can only respond in the following ways:

a- Salamtek, ana asif.
b- Mo 3ajebny.

With that, the speaker would regard himself as the 'victor' if you respond by (a). And then it's the battle of the (er) same-sexes, if you respond with (b). Either case, the message has been sent across: he is the shit.

Often times, if you're unlucky, you might be in the exact same place and time where a young male is forcing himself on a girl. Forget the girl everybody, this is not about el imlaa7ag. If you are ever in such an unfortunate situation, and care to ask the following to the guy:

- sh lik feeha?
- ma yethaygek ena el kel 3araf enek eshlayti khafeef?
- sh sewat 3alaik es7abat 3alaik?
- whatever, i can list a ton

be very sure that the answer would essentially translate into "I'm a man. I don't care. I can live with that."

Moving on, we have the example of an actual interaction with he who happens to be a victim of the misconception. Ever been in a situation where you talk to a guy and it's like he gives you the shoulder? Again, this is assuming you actually have something worth saying to him. Yes? Meet ana-el-thigheel-ely-ma36y-wayh.
Just as most things in life, there are usually two extremes of everything. Il khiffa has been mentioned above. Enter: Il Thighil Il Zayif.
Some poor guys think that by acting all classy and looking-down on people, they're actually practicing their right to manhood. Most of the time, he probably doesn't know what to say back, so acting all not-interested is the relatively-macho thing to do. The really-macho thing being you involved in a fight, or being the lucky addressee of a flow of swearing.

Moreover, it is sometimes evident that some guys adopt opposition as a way to express their manhood. Example you can relate to without me telling a bed-time story of so and so: a number of blogs that come to mind. With opposition -backed up with nothing but the infamous 'hatha rayee'- some guys hope to stand out, reinforcing their manhood to some.

Lo ben7achi ma inkhaliss, there's the "number of girls i know" (and yes, by 'know' i mean slept with); there's the "fights i've been in"; there's the "the-time-i-made-fun-of-my-teacher/professor" and many, many others. I'm sure you guys have got the idea

Enzain, so what is manhood you ask ma daam wala shay bel denya 3ajbek?

It's simple, being a man is all about being yourself without the actual effort put in ever so forcefully so you prove otherwise. It is being true to yourself before trying to make a certain impression on others. It is to feel proud of who you are based on knowing that you have the decency to respect yourself before respecting others, espicially those who you disapprove of their actions.

Kent bagool shay thany bas nisait, so we'll leave it as that.

Misconceptions

Making up our minds is the non-effort on which we base our day-to-day interactions. It is the most unconscious thing I can think of right now. Granted, I may not strike you as a person who is capable of even thinking (i.e you already made up your mind); and even if you can force yourself to give me the benefit of the doubt, honesty compels me to make it loud and clear that I am not trying too hard to think of anything else which is as unconscious.

First of all, saying 'unconscious' over and over is just my way of trying to seem smart. What it basically means in this particular case is that you automatically put together an idea, or a label in some cases, towards the certain someone or something you have just come across. And live with it, be it wrong or otherwise.
Second, to each and every one of us there are certain equations we have composed at a certain point; equations which if people fit in, they equal (literally equal as in the = sign) something.

The only thing worse than misconception, is systemised misconception. Know that bitches, KNOW IT!

That being said, nothing is that simple. Am I saying that having certain criteria to like someone and see whether or not they fit is wrong?
Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind.

Taking stuff at face value is virtue at specific occasions. Other times, it's just lame. This time, it's sad.

Now, people occasionally make bad judgements, don't they? No? Fuck you, what do you call accidents/divorces for example? That's right, they're examples of bad judgement.

Bad judgement in regards to hearing/reading something or meeting/seeing someone = misconception.

In all fairness, the source where/who you read/hear something from plays a big role in the transfer of thought. I'm talking about both credibility and the way the thought was presented.

Example: you're reading this and going "what the..?", because I'm failing to make what I want to say crystal clear.

Regard this post as an introduction to following ones. Which by then I hope you would know what I mean by misconception; in so that when I write something about examples of misconceptions, you'll know what I'm saying.

The Gym

i can only think of a few things that compare with that certain feeling when you go back to the gym after a long "break".. but now that i think about it, even those things which i think may be on the same level require me to be in a good state of mind to fully appreciate them, in other words: been working out.

u know when u always tell urself that ur gonna make the time, even for an hr, of every single coming day for the rest of ur life where ud go to work out.. but something always stands in the way?
welcome to my world

im not big on football, fa salfat el 7osa b mala3eb el mana6ig ashawit 6ombakheya is out of the question.. volleyball on the other hand i do enjoy, yet i dont get the chance to play unless we're in the shalaih (btw el le3ib yeseer mo sij lama nasfi6 seyayeer ba3ath across elmal3ab .. el khoof mn la tenkhefis el sayara sure does bring out il 3erj el holandy heh)

i guess what im trying to say is that im not a fan of "sports", however working out (not bodybuilding for those who dont know the difference) is another story.. it sure feels good to know u can run those 5kms and cycle those 10kms .. it even feels better when u do all that after a good hour of nothing but pumping iron .. let the good times roll

for those of u who work out regulary, im sure u wouldnt argue that ur state of mind will always seem level, ull have an easier time thinking and having a more positive attitude towards life.. i know this as well as u do, u see, but the thing is.. something will always fuck it up

whether be it mashaaghel o meshaweer, work-related (or studying purposes), cars .. u name it.. it could be anything

this is where it gets interesting, knowing that if u go to the gym you'll be better at whatever it is you are about to do, why can u never have that last ounce of will in u to make that little effort when in dire need

okay .. that being out of the way (u SERIOUSLY thought this was a post about working out routines?) i'm left to believe that maybe everybody needs to feel "bad" for him/herself from time to time.. a phase when everybody gives oneself the chance to blame others for his/her misfortune (and i dont mean fate by fortune)

ya3ni to project this back to the whole gym thing i had going on, anyone would "skip the chance to go the gym" on purpose, so to have the time to convince onself that 'its not my fault that i feel/look/am treated/whatever in this manner' ..
yes? no? khair inshalla heh..
ana agool el natural high weg6a3, shda3wa chethy kela tamreen

London ghair ..

if you're kuwaiti, chances are uve been to London .. if you're kuwaiti and over 20yrs of age, then theres also a chance you've been in London during the iraqi (Sadami wala itze3lon) occupation..

ive been to London more than any other place, ive also spent 14months over there (before-during-after) the occupation

i studied there chena 4 ebtedaa'ey eb academiyat il malik fahad, and my mom still has the photo of me shaking hands wiya il safeer el se3oodi ..
every year or so, there comes a time where i watch video tapes of me weya elahal b hyde park.. playing football with my little sister, chasing away ichlaab lama yigarboon yam omy, netmasha me and my cousins wensharrbik rippin' it q8i style jedaam i3yaal 3ammatna Margaret..
who can forget ayam walking up and down the stairs of the Underground, hopping between stations, or walking down some tunnels and hearing some guy/girl playing her instrunment..

i guess thats why when i first read about the bombings over there, it took quite a while for it to really sink ..
and once it did, i was more angry than sorry, more shocked than curious

frankly, i dont see how by bombing a bus or a station.. you "terrorise" a population..
to me, only thing u accomplish is bringing people together (..?)
if i were to believe that this is a genuine terrorist attack, i would question as to why the attack didnt target a more political scene .. a more significant place

but then again, knowing how my brain works, if the attack did target a more political scene, im sure i wouldve questioned "why bomb a deserted place and not terrorise a city by striking on the people .. u might as well while ur at it"

I'm not saying that if it were any different, it would have been more "suitable", ofcourse not.. but it's just the shock, knowing that it could have been anyone from any place all over the world (just like NY)

however, not to be overwhelmed by emotions .. i sincerely believe that the world we live in has set the bar a bit too high for someone to be heard..
one concert isn't enough ha.. it's gonna blow over (no pun intended) in no time? .. fine ne6la3lena b fantag wensawi 5 or 6 madri cham

and on a more serious matter .. if you cant make the world "listen" to u, make it "watch" u as u go to war claiming all that ur doing is "offering the iraqi ppl a chance to live in a democracy as we know it"

how do u make urself heard opposing that? hell, bomb some cities and ull get the media attention to take ur message all over the world in no time

im not justifying anything, im just saying that its as simple as narrowing it down to "cause and effect" .. if ull go at it, ill go at it too

all in all, i'm taking the London bombings personally ..

Sh7aga ?

it hasn't been long since i was first referred to a certain blog..
needless to say, it was a reference not that of applause, but one of "6a hatha/y shga3ed y/tigool"

at first I didn't give it much thought, i mean why would i? it's just a post on the internet

bas ashof el salfa imsakhat, u know where there would be a list of "buddies" with links to other blogs .. in an attempt to hold back my prejudice, i thought i'd check it out

bas laitny ga3adt 3ala 7a6ety .. its not personal, i dont even know who most of those guys/girls are, but some of the shit they post is just .. shit?

to make life much more easier, ill list a number of things i noticed on most blogs, a trend if u may:

1- im a muslim, but

a) i drink
b) i think premarital sex is worth talking about with my friends, which i will later post on my blog, which i will then discuss further with my friends, and yet make another post making an account of what has happened in the discussion, by the time im done with all the drama, i would have gotten laid a number of times, which i think ill just post on my blog and talk with my friends about, come back later and make an account of all the ... u get the idea
c) relationships with the other gender mean the world to me.. my existence revolves around them.. i know im hot, but i always seem to bitch on my blog .. i guess deep down inside i crave for the attention and reassurance i might get in the comments
d) i immediately oppose any "islamic" law that is suggested/passed bel majlis

2- im kuwaiti, but

a) i make Kuwait look so bad in my posts on purpose, just because im nostaligic .. i get a hard-on thinking about the days i used to rock dem clubs in the -enter country-
b) not only do i think that the social traditions in kuwait are worthless, i think theyre really worthless theyre worth (ha?) making a post on my blog about them.. ay shay ay shay lama adish mokan rab3y/ahaly ga3deen feh lazim asalim? shakhbaary ely yes'elon 'shlonkom', just get to the point
c) i intend to make everybody else believe that NOTHING is accomplished bel kuwait bedon was6a, just because i was given a ticket for speeding/running a red light o lama khalait sa7bety tekalem weld 3amha ely i3yaal khalat weld yeeranhom kelhom bel daakhelyia 3ala asaas e6aye7 mokhalafty .. ma sawaaly shay lena mo rotba

3- im americanised, westernized.. or whatever the fuck u want to pass on .. so

a) male gay friends are the best
b) ay shay aro7 el jam3eya? 3al agal markaz sel6aan, ee ok
c) 3ady asawy ely abeeh (in the company of friends) in public, even when i know that people might get an (the wrong) impression aw ra7 yethayegoon.. i live my life on a day-to-day basis.. i dont give a fuck im a free spirit

although to some, the above may have come out a bit too strong (esmala, wain ely kelwa7ed is entitled to say whatever whenever wherever), i .. dont care really

NO FUCKING JUDGEMENT