She tipped her neck making her way into the walk-in closet, unattaching her right earring and hopping to kick off one of her heels. She caught her reflection in the mirror under the dimmed lighting, and stared hard at the beautiful but angry woman. For the third time in under six minutes, she took out her mobile phone to check if her husband has called. But he didn't. Making it officially the sixth month she has not been in contact with her so-called husband for. Her thoughts halted when she heard the cry of her three month old baby coming from the bedroom.

She held up her tiny little boy and rubbed his back as she rocked him gently on her shoulder. Sitting down on the side of her bed, she drifted in thought to seven months ago. Her body heated up, and she felt a need for a gush of fresh air, but instead she rocked her neck to move her long hair to one side and rested her son in a way she could smell him. The boy was silent again, and she told herself that he knew she too was one who needed to be taken care of. She knew that no matter what happened, her son would never grow up to be like a certain him.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself you ignorant son of a bitch", she heard herself scream in her head eight months ago. She wasn't exactly sure at the time if she was insulted, or if she was hurt. But for her husband to tell her that she should be grateful that he "made it possible that a Kuwaiti citizenship be issued" for her just because he did not want his son to have a "Palestinian" mother was something she never thought could be said, let alone it being said, then again let alone being directed to her. It dawned on her that very moment, she now remembered, that the man she once loved could see her and indeed saw her as everything but a wife. Her body tensed up and she felt trapped inside her skin, trapped in her mind since there has not been much 'lately' she could even begin to think about without making her feel she was about to kill somebody. Until she looked at her beautiful tiny boy, or 'heard' him sleep.

Their, or better yet, her son's birth, she thought, would change everything. At the hospital, she would tell herself that any second now her husband would barge in and apologize, tell her how he never meant anything hurtful he said; and how she would instantly forgive him because she too believed in her heart that he never could have meant to hurt her. Unfortunately, it didn't exactly play out like that.

Having spent two nights at her mother's without any news of the newly decorated "Bo Jasim", she found no other solution but to speak to her "Kuwaiti" uncles, since she insisted that her younger brother be not involved in any way that could make him "be" in trouble for doing this or saying that 'to a Kuwaiti' man. But to no avail. She felt as if her so-called husband did nothing but fuck her, not so literally and literally alike.

She rocked her son some more, and the more she trapped her son into her lock of arm and chest, the more she realized that she was not trapped in her skin nor her mind. She was just trapped. Period.


  • Some people are just not marriage material. This is a tragically realistic portrayal of what too frequently happens when people marry "above" themselves. May Allah protect us all.

    Beautifully done, mashallah. Will you ever have a post that makes me think "What's he talking about, that's crazy!" ? :) Really, this one totally resonated.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2.11.06  

  • fqayraa;/

    By Blogger um-miT3ib, at 3.11.06  

  • no need to say my opinion about your style as you know it :) i think she was wise enough not the recource to the judicial system as it wont do her any good since most of our judicial systems in the Gulf are more biased to men and it will end up to be a daunting experience for her .... she will spend years in the courts fighting for her alimony .... and if she gets anything its up to her husband whether to give her or not ..... good post :)

    By Blogger متفرغ, at 3.11.06  

  • why hello there earthlings,

    digital nomad,
    - i wouldnt label it with "marrying above" .. the 'above' part can be taken by some to suggest a hierarchy of superiority or something, something which im certain u did not have in mind. i do think strongly however that i know what u mean.

    and thank you for the compliment.
    must say however that i did not get the last part
    and btw u look good with or without a disp pic :)

    aii wallah

    kindest regards to your mom, o golelha again i apologize for the profanity (personally thought it would work better with a couple here and there in this particular piece)

    they were manolo blahniks white leather strappy sandals, if u must insist.
    and trust me, na7no ma3shar elrejaal may not know women 'shoes', but boy oh boy do we know women's heels.
    speaking for myself at least

    thanks a mill once again for the kind words.
    i agree that such cases take years and drain a lot of money that would be better spent for child expenses, but i'm not sure if i entirely agree that the judicial systems in the gulf are biased to men. will have to look into it, would be interesting to see what makes u say that.
    yam3awad e7na khal yekoon 3endena ghathaa' mostagil, ba3dain yseer khair nitkalam bel en7eyaaz wel taftheel heh :p

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.11.06  

  • No, I do not think that she did in actuality marry above herself nor did you allude to such. I extrapolated that from the bit about how clearly the other half of this marriage does think so--through the allusion to how he did not want his son to have a "Palestinian" mother.

    The part about "this one totally resonated"? Ah, by that I meant that I have been seeing marriages like this around me for quite a while, in one form or another, and so this story struck a nerve. I forget to construct my sentences/paragraphs well sometimes...and pure laziness came in my way, too. :(

    I truly got bored of that pic, and you have just given me added incentive to go pic-less :)

    By Blogger BeeCrazy, at 3.11.06  

  • im sure there are millions just like that poor woman..
    reality hurts
    good work Temetwir :)

    By Blogger F, at 4.11.06  

  • digital nomad,
    thanks for clearing both matters up :)
    and i'm very glad you find this to be real(istic), which is kind of ironic since we keep wishing that it isn't and couldn't be real to any degree

    do you mean a lot of women who are stuck with husbands who care for things like "nationality" even though it wont really matter one single bit on pragmatic grounds?
    or do you mean millions of women who are abandoned even when they are pregnant, and are still abandoned after they give birth?

    allah y3een eljimee3

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 4.11.06  

  • Yes, the title sums it up really well. Something that happened before, is happening to some women now and will continue to happen...


    By Blogger Sedna, at 5.11.06  

  • 7akeema,
    and i told laialy in detail what those heels were like, since no self-respecting bachelor would ever think of "colorless" heels, or "strapless" for that matter

    regarding the profanity, i'll bear that in mind for next time :)

    unless people start to understand once again that marriage isn't about living happily ever after, and thus that should not be the criteria that is gone through to be suited

    strappy or don't bother

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 6.11.06  

  • I HOPE this story is not affecting you directly.

    truely, i feel sad for her.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6.11.06  

  • laialy i have two =D

    By Blogger Faith, at 8.11.06  

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