The Gaz Element

A few weeks ago, charisma asked me what it is exactly with boys and cars. Over the years, I was asked a lot of similar questions. No matter how much I say that it's different, I still think people just don't get it.

For starters, let's get the facts straight. Owning cars has got to be one of the most expensive 'hobbies' I can think of; ma adri shlon that translates into a fact, bas 3ady 6af. The yachts and boats 'hobby' is more expensive; but collecting watches isn't as harmful to a bank account. Just to give you a better picture. But the thing with cars is that they can give you a different perspective; they really can if you're in it for the right reasons. So can a boat I guess, but I'm not a boat guy. Okay, I'm 'poor enough to not own boats', sue me.

Which brings me to my point: differentiate. Not all boys who are into cars are into cars for the same reasons. For example, numerous times I've been asked:

- 'shely yethabe6 akthar?'
- 'shaakheth? yakhi el twin ghali bas el borsh yethal borsh, tehaga el bokstar 3alaih nafs il gaz?'

Other times, I've been told:
- 'metkhayel el tharb eli beyseer 3al farary el yideed bel7ob'
- 'mo sij el tegembel lama maraina masafi6 kasbar bel galaardo'

Also commonly used:
- 'abi akon awal wa7ed bel kuwait ye6ob 3enda el AMV8'
- 'maylaish akheth Bentley GT, hal ayam emga6a6 kela banat yesogona o sar gadeem'

From the above, one can gather that all of those guys know jackshit about rides. All they would tell you is how much hp they'd be making at the flywheel, if that. They would typically care the most about how the car looks, what gadgets are to be found in the interior, and what color combo they can get that would be exclusive in Kuwait for a year or so. These are the 'nice guys'.

That, unfortunately, is how most would think when it comes to cars. Trust me, I know. If you would like statistics, I would have to say that 48 out of 50 guys/girls who ask me about cars, ask the wrong questions.

Yaksir kha6ry ely yes'alni so'al "sa7" about cars, I'd go on and on and on and on, without really answering the question. Not because I don't know the answer, but because I feel the urge to let it all out.

Moving on, to try to give the impartial-folk-towards-cars a clue at how to differentiate between 'us' and 'them'; always, ALWAYS, ask about older models. 'They' always want the newer model, the one which - in their minds - is always the better. Well.. realistically? They think the more expensive a car is, the better it is.

What to ask about is very, very easy. There are two machines that no real car enthusiast would mind having in his garage. Those would be a Porsche 993 turbo, and a Ferrari 512. These aren't even 'old', but trust me, if you want to seperate the men from the boys right now (literally, nearing 2006 ya3ni): ask about these two cars. The thing 'they' (which most would mistake 'us' for) would tell you is 'ra7at 3alaih', or 'gadeem'. What they don't know is that there is no such thing as an 'old' sports car. Really, there isn't. They only share a name.

One of 'them' would tell you all about the new shape, the new interior, and the collection of new colors offered. Period.
One of 'us' would tell you all about the engine, the noise it makes, and how much it makes you think about physics. And by then you'd be bored to death to know what the fuck just happened that got us all excited.