Pansies

Working out can cause more harm than good for a guy. He senses the attitude towards him even when he's with his family going out. He sees it in the eyes of others when he's standing in row bel jam3eya. If he has one hand on the steering wheel, he turns to meet the stare of those alligned next to him on a red light. When he's being nice, you think he has an agenda. When he's acting normally, you think he's a dick.

No I'm not on steroids, all natural baby, WooHoo. But I know this to be true for two main reasons:
a) It happens all the time when I make the time to go to the gym for 2 weeks straight.
b) It happens almost every time I wear a t-shirt.

Oh yea, you know the t-shirts I'm talking about. The ones you just love to hate. Tight around the arms, fitted to the shoulders. Yeah bitch, I see you lookin'.

For those of you who know me, you know I have it easy since I'm not one of those pumped up on primo and decca and look no where near them. But when I'm out with one of my friends who are, it just gets... insulting (?) I guess.

I mean this one time we were in il Fanar's parking lot in the basement. We walk towards the lift and there's this group of girls, like 17-19 year olds. We walk in, and instantly you could just feel the tension in the air. The looks, the whispers. We're right here, you know?

So anyway the lift opens and they rush in, hands on their bags and give us the 'look'. No, I'm not imagining this and you know it's true. Still quiet, we go in and take the other corner. Shakelna ig6aawa wallah kel wa7ed raasa bel arth. We arrive at the cinema floor and while trying to get the tickets from the damn machine (the one which never works the first time, ely you book online), you see the moms rushing their kids away as if we're going to kidnap them or something. What the fuck, mom?

We make the mistake of our lives and walk in 10 minutes early before the show. The guys with their families in the upper rows keep an eye on us just incase we decide to make a move on one of their sisters or something. Sh teswa 3alaik ten6ag hehe. Chill, mafakah.

Needless to say, we took the stairs back down after the movie.

You probably have this misconception that all guys who look like they work out are gay or something. Well I got news for you, you're gay for thinking that. And yeah, gay is an insult so STFU. As far as steroids are concerned, loads of my friends are on that shit (and yes, one can do without), and loads of them are married. Many are parents for quite some time, while many others continue to have newborns.

Anyway, next time you come across somebody who looks like he works out, remember this post. To the guys, we do have families too, you know. And girls trust me, we wouldn't take notice of all the above if it weren't just so damn obvious on your part. Now STFU before I beat you up.

*This post is brought to you by "I-haven't-had-a-decent-workout-in-three-months".
*You doesn't refer to you. Same goes for STFU, so yeah, STFU.