لايحوشك

3ali was merrily walking to the parking lot. He had a lot to be happy about where he's coming from, and a lot of reason to have that ridiculous smirk on his face where he was headed to. He just got back his paper, scoring an 18.5/20. This was the subject which was being taught by a doctor he had his differences with. The most notorious, if you will, doctor in the department. You could say 3ali was now just happy he showed the Dr that not-doing-homework-doesn't-mean-not-knowing-what's-going-on.

In the parking lot now, he met his new car of less than a month with a heart-felt "hala walla". He was also meeting his dad at the gym as was agreed the night before. So all in all, things were looking up.

Approaching the roundabout, he was in the (correct) left lane planning to go 3/4 the way to the street leading to shari3 il7ob to lengthen the route; wasting some time and enjoying the new ride.

Not so fast.

He grabbed the wheel in place as the car swerved, turning to the right-handside mirror since he felt the impact coming from the back, right side of the car.

Welcome to a typical post-school accident.

The whole situation not sinking yet, he pulled over and got out of his car. He noticed the girl sitting in her car quite shocked. He walked over to her as she was rolling down the window. It was obvious that she was nervous.

3ali: 7asal khair kha6ach elso, feech shay?
bnaya: asfa.. tara..
3ali: la 3ady 7asal khair, feech shay enty al7en?
bnaya: la bas tara ma kan gasdi
3ali: ee adri, basee6a.. sayartech ma feha shay tabeen tamsheen tewakelay
bnaya: la baro7 el makhfar
3ali: agolech sayartech ma feha shay, ana ely sayarty et3awarat o ma a7taj ithen taslee7 adaber 3omri.
bnaya: okay bas ham abi aro7 el makhfar
3ali: .............
bnaya: ka el makhfar warana
3ali: adela..
bnaya: .....
3ali: naday okhoch, oboch atfaham ma3ah.. dashetich el makhfar ma laha lazmah, ekhti
bnaya: .....
3ali: 7elween?
bnaya: inshala

He got back into his car, taking it to the parking lot of masafi6 masra7 Kaifan. Got out and re-examined the hit. A bit depressed, he leaned on the fender waiting for the brother/father/husband/boyfriend to show up, all the while thinking whether or not he'll make it to the gym on time to work out with his dad. The girl parked her car nearby in the same parking lot.

Ten minutes go by and a small jeep joins in. A guy clad in dishdasha gets out and heads to the girl. It'll be two minutes before he makes his way towards 3ali.

Him: shsayer?
3ali: shely shsayer, 7adeth ba3ad sheno
him: shloon?
3ali: mo ehni el7achi, ent al7een imsh el makhfar khal ahalek yamshoon .. o 3ala asaas ena ent ely kent tesoog

Give and take for 10 more minutes and they end up in the mo7agig office of Kaifan's police station. To 3ali's surprise, the girl was there too. They waited and waited. Till finally:

mo7agig: kha6akom el so, shsayer?

Before anyone could say anything, the girl jumped, "ohwa 6ala3 3alay mesri3 o ana da3amta mn wara lena ma medaani asawi shay." 3ali turned to the girl with a look of disgust on his face.

The investigator intervened, asking the girl for details on exactly what happened. 3ali sat back and listened to the lies. Then he turned to 3ali saying, "O int? What's your version?". 3ali could see where this was going. He was a guy in a sports car. She was a girl in a saloon. He looked young. She looked young. They were obviously driving down the same path. And he was keeping quiet, she was not.

3ali: "Salamtek, sajelha 3alay khal enkhalis."
mo7agig: "mo le3eb el mas'ala.. nabi ne3arf shely saar"
3ali: "tabeeny achatheb-ha ya3ni wela ablish bent elnaas b loyat mekhaafir wela sheno belthab6"
mo7agig: "afham mn kalamek ena hal 7achi ma saar?"

3ali thought to himself Walaih.. hatha besawi feeha fahaameya o 7aawir zaawir.

3ali: "la saar, ana ghal6aan ya yoba bas khalsona bamshy"
mo7agig: "sabir sabir, enta ga3ed tegol enek ent ghal6aan?"
3ali: "ee.."
mo7agig: "asajelha 3alaik tara.."
3ali: "sajil.."
mo7agig picks up the driving licenses and gives 3ali a look, "Ee 3adel, 3ashan chethy."
3ali kept quiet looking at his watch.
mo7agig: "walla entaw yal shabaab ma menkom fayda .. ma te7isoon ma tegolon mas'oleya.."
3ali: "enzain.."
mo7agig: "wela 7ad yesadeg e3yal nas yesawon chethy? ana ma wedy at7acha wel akh mawjod", he said while pointing at the what-appeared-to-be-brother.
3ali: "ma3ak 7ag 3ami.."

The investigator went on rambling about how guys 3ali's age should really know their limits, and how they should consider girls their peers as sisters and stand up for them. As opposed to "hal kharabee6 ely shaaghla wagtkom", as he eloquently put it.

3ali was thinking to himself, 'Great, khayran taf3al sharan talga.. 3ala akher 3omri yayne ebnal kalb hatha berabeeni.' He could now feel the stare of the brother on him, as if knowing what was going through his head. He turned to face him and looked away thinking to himself 'il7amdelah wel shekir'.

When they were done, il mo7agig gave them the dreaded papers and they walked out of the station. The brother pulled on 3ali's dishdasha saying, "La7tha la7tha wain raye7." Looking down at the guy's hand grabbing him, he thought to himself 'Men seja hatha?'.

He shoved his hands on the brother's chest and pushed him hard enough to make him slam in the station's entrance door. "Nazil eedik la al7een ahefik kaf 3ala wayhek a3meek .. 7ageega nas fathya".

The guy just stood there, apparently stunned at where all that came from. Not that you could blame him. 3ali took it like a bitch back in the investigator's office. To 3ali, he thought he was doing the right thing. 'Mo 7elwa', he told himself, 'ina el bnaya tenyar laih el makhfar o etseer salfa o ta3aal fachich'.

It didn't bother him that the girl was lying and blaming. What did get on his nerve was the way the investigator made sense of it all. 'The nerve on that guy, lecturing me on how to act as if he knows what he's talking about'. As for the brother, well let's just say it was in his best interest not to fuck with a guy who had his new car screwed up.

The girl? 3ali would still tell you, what do you expect from a typical Kuwaiti chick?
The investigator? What do you expect from a bored man when it comes to thinking all guys are 'the same' just because of the cars they drive or their physical appearance?
The brother? What do you expect from a wimp who feels he has to prove to everyone that he's the shit, when infact he's a pussy?