Temetwir

16.2.06

حال الدنيا

Lifting his left shoulder, he tilted his head to the side clutching the mobile in between his ear and the rest of his body. In his right hand he held the glow-radiating lighter of the car, with a piece of his mother's finest bukhoor chips in his left. "Eeh kany mesafat il 6ereej, wain il shabab?", he asked the bukhor chip, talking into the phone and staring at it burn. He pushed his shoulder forward slipping the phone down to his thigh.

He placed the lighter upside down near the gear, and looked into his mirror to find the ghetra tilted to the left. He backed the car up, turned the wheel in the other direction and propelled forward. Looking to his side, he saw a young woman in a white dress, leaning to his side and reaching for his arm. He looked into the mirror again, pushed the ghetra to the side, and looked to the passenger's side side mirror to switch lanes. The seat was not occupied.

He soared down the highway and made himself comfortable leaning backwards. This was going to be one very very long ten minutes. He reached for his mobile on his pearl white dishdasha and placed it near the ashtray. He looked to his side again to check if the girl in the pearly white dress was seated next to him again. She was, only this time she was wearing beige. He reached for her hands. At that exact same moment, a speeding SUV overtook him and he flew his right hand to grab the wheel. There was really no reason for the instant panic. He was just lost in his thoughts. He reached again to his right, but touched only air. He looked to his side, and saw no one.

His phone rang. Picking it up, he saw both the name and a photo of one of his friends. "Ya taa3ebny," he answered, "ee shway o ousal, betdeshon yimee3?" He changed lanes again, and he could almost swear the girl was sitting next to him. Wearing a grey skirt. That's all he saw, not the shirt not the-anything. The grey skirt only. His friend's recurring "Aloo.. tesma3ni?" reminded him that he was on the phone. "Eeh yala, ne6rouny 3ayal."

The car slowed down to a halt at a traffic light. He looked to his left at the group of girls in the Land Cruiser. He looked to his right, passenger seat empty, and looked at the Z71 truck with two guys overlooking him; and looking at the girls in the Land Cruiser. He looked ahead and waited for the light.

Sensing an object in the corner of his eye, he looked down to his phone near the ashtray, and saw her long legs covered with a long, black skirt. He looked up and stared at the familiar face. Straight into the transparent and non-existent eyes. He saw the truck leap forward, so he moved his car too since obviously the light was green. The Z71 overtook his lane and slowed down for the girls in the Land Cruiser to come and parallely escort them. He looked down to his hand and saw her hand over his. He looked up at the truck's license plate. The girl's hand was gone. So were her legs, so was her skirt.

He took the exit and entered the area he was supposed to meet his friends in. Two minutes later he saw the crowd of cars opposite the jam3iya in the parking lot. More than ten, less than twenty guys were all clad in white deshadeesh, white ightarr and white sandals. They motioned for him, apparently saving him a parking spot next to them.

He proceeded to where his friends were standing, and fitted his car in between the two white lines. He stared at the building next to the jam3iya. He returned the lighter into the socket near the ashtray and picked up his phone. Making his way out of the car, he was met with one of his friends smiling sympathetically. He smiled back. After the greetings, his smiley-friend pushed him slowly away. "Zain yeet," the friend said, "kent shaak bel saalfa ma hagaitek tiyee."
He looked over his shoulder to the group of guys finishing up their smokes, "nisseeb", he told his friend. "Imsh nasbeg'hom."

As the group made their way across the street, he looked back at his car.
He thought he saw a girl in white waving, with a grin on her face.

34 Comments:

  • With typical people, this is usually a crush.
    With you, I'm lost. I might be able to comprehend the thoughts regarding the girl, but the grin on her face is somewhat confusing.

    By Blogger MBH, at 16.2.06  

  • Intruiging.
    I have 2 theories.
    Rather keep them to myself.
    Lovely.

    By Blogger Delicately Realistic, at 16.2.06  

  • L O V E L Y

    I liked how you mixed the suspense with deep emotions. And of course, the reality of the scenes you described. I can never do that myself.

    The open-ending is amazing too. I'm having more than one theory, and like 'Delicately Realistic', I'll keep'em to myself :-)

    Keep posting, can't wait to read more

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 17.2.06  

  • nice and detailed post.... i do admit i'm bit confused but agree with mbh that it is a crush.... keep it up and nice writing style :)

    By Blogger متفرغ, at 17.2.06  

  • Yalla 3o2balek :)

    By Blogger familiar_stranger, at 17.2.06  

  • That gave me goosebumps for some reason. brrr...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 17.2.06  

  • Well the truth is that it was nicely written
    On the other hand I am confused I didn't understand who she was

    By Blogger Diver, at 17.2.06  

  • mbh confusing in what sense, i just thought it'd give an open ending for many many interpretations if it ended that way (i hope that worked)

    and by "you", i hope ur not supposing im the chap in the story :p

    dc thanks. and how about u give us one of the theories ashoof if it works out or not?

    scarlo thank u, im glad u say it has an open-ending (for interpretations just like i told mbh).. but, again, how abt one theory lets see whats up

    metfarigh teslamly 7abeb ilsha3b, appreciate the kind words :)

    FS allah yesma3 menek, inshala :)

    sapphire "what's ur favorite scary movie" kinda goosebumps? :p

    diver yeah dont worry that's what you SHOULD be thinking: who is she ..
    its interesting that mbh and metfarigh said it was a crush, but the ladies (delicate and scarlo) have 'theories'

    its all in the perception .. plays out just like u want it to! :)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 18.2.06  

  • How I read it was, the guy is driving to a wedding. And he's wishing it was his day.

    Hey Tem, maybe you'd like to swing by my blog and tell us what you think of the story going on over there. Also I'd be very interested in reading anyone's comments on the Crichton speech post.

    By Blogger familiar_stranger, at 18.2.06  

  • Temetwir, I didn't get the whole story, top to bottom!
    If the girl is part of a this guy's fantasy/imagination, why would he see something that would confuse him, such as grinning at him. Seeing her is normal, but not when she grinned.
    What I meant with "you" is that usually when people write such story line, they refer to a crush. But I don't think you do.

    Happy ends are cute, only when I understand the story :p

    By Blogger MBH, at 18.2.06  

  • Theory 1:
    The guy's going to the wedding of the girl he was in love with. It sort of explains why he said "nisseeb" at the end. I'm thinking maybe he was, say, away for something.. errm, abroad to study or whatever, and came back and found out that the girl (could be a relative, marrying a relative too) is about to have her wedding. So he is obliged to go, since the bride is his relative and so is the groom.
    And the friend that saw him by the car could be his best friend, and he sort of knew that he (our guy) is -or was- in love with the girl who's getting married, that's why he said "kent shaak bel saalfa ma hagaitek tiyee"

    The groom could be a friend or an acquaintance. Not necessarily a cousin. The idea is that they know each other.
    (arsed? I know)

    Theory 2:
    The ghost in the car is of the girl he wanted to marry. She refused him and is now marrying someone that our guy knows.

    (Okay, this is very arsed. I like number one better. Whether you guys like it or not, I think the scenario of #1 makes sense and I'm sticking with that :-p ento kaifkom)

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 18.2.06  

  • i think he's already gonna marry the girl he loves, and he loves her so much, he can't wait to leave the wedding with her and he hasn't even arrived yet... 7a6 el bukhoor to keep his dishdasha smelling great even on his way to the wedding.. and he calls his "niseeb" that because he really IS his niseeb..

    that's what i think..

    By Blogger Ms. Sarah, at 18.2.06  

  • I would have to agree with Scarlos Theory 1. Although, of course, I would really like an actual explanation instead of the open-endedness.

    By Blogger ZinZinQ8, at 18.2.06  

  • FS
    nice and simple.
    and sure imma hop by in a jiffy

    MBH
    true that, and i dont like happy endings heh

    scarlo
    theory 1 doesnt come as a surprise, i can see why ud think that (especially with the sense u make out of the few lines of dialogue) but i dont "like it" .. a bit too girly for my taste,,
    theory 2 sounds more legit, more "serious" which i can dig

    swair
    interesting, now we're up to four explanations.. i like, explains the bunch of guys gathered, but doesnt fit the talk between the 2 friends

    zinzin
    there arent any

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 18.2.06  

  • the girl is dead.. and hes recalling her presence in his life.. in the car.. seeing her in parts not as a whole..he cant forget her or get over the fact that shes gone for good.. and she passed away before he could even open up to her.. he didnt even tell her (ILOVE U).. bs again.. its ur story and u know best ;)

    By Blogger jiji, at 18.2.06  

  • ok here's my interpretation:

    the guy's spent most of his time focussing on himself and never really paid enough attn to 'women' or finding the 'right one.'

    the girl in the car is someone he knows and thought was a potential. perhaps he never really paid enough attn to making something out of it/her.

    i love the color change from white, to beige, to gray and then black. this, to me, is how his view changed with time and here she was now getting married.

    when he turns and looks in the car before walking in, it's another girl's face he sees.

    By Blogger MSB, at 18.2.06  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger the11thmuse, at 18.2.06  

  • My only realistic interpretation was that the guy was tripping.

    By Blogger Erzulie, at 18.2.06  

  • Ok, Im giving my own spin then: the the protagonist moo saa7i, like a schizophrenic maybe.

    By Blogger ZinZinQ8, at 18.2.06  

  • jiji
    i like it, the part abt 'didnt tell her i love u' is a bit girly for my taste again, but i like the seriousness of the matter (dealing with death of loved on and all that)..
    and no its not "my story", i honestly dont have an ending/reasoning, nor did i intend to have one when i wrote the thing.. just trying something out :)

    MSB
    so ur rooting for the "he's a player but he wants to go straight" .. works for me

    11thmuse
    *sigh* what is it with the ladies and the love/cuddly theories .. nigga plz :P

    erzulie
    wurrd mafakin life, wat diz mafaka tink?

    zinzin
    that, or he probably sees dead people

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 18.2.06  

  • Seeing dead people sounds like a good idea.

    Add a part where he talks in the bathroom and when people ask him what's wrong, he says that he's talking to the dead. Smoking ciggies with them would be more nuts. Which is good, I guess. Isn't it?

    (I still love my theory # 1 :-p )

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 18.2.06  

  • guys its simple.. the guy is schizophrenic.. why make up theories and what not.. tho i likes msb's final theory.. and also erzulie could be right, he was simply smokin a joint, thats why he had a lighter..

    By Blogger Dr.Lost, at 19.2.06  

  • Lol, what! I didn't understand your reply!

    By Blogger Erzulie, at 19.2.06  

  • lool.. u men are all alike! u like macho and muscley stuff and u dont let us girls be if we talked about it ;p edaa7rona imda7ar elyehood! ull go all defensive and stuff.. and u think ur a total hero when u say "oooh girly stuff" looool lil asaf ur all hypocrites :/ (and i do mean ALL GUYS, 3a6ny daleeel wa7ed that proves me wrong ;p.. lat7awel mako ;p)

    wuts the "big deal" if a girl was a girly girl?! "mo dala3 malaqat q8yat" i mean being soft and passionate!! altho am not the sensitive 7assasa type.. i do find myself carried away sa3at in these issues!

    SO YEAH AM A GIRL ;p

    7addy ishta6ait madre lesh.. bs i dont mean to offend u, honestly :)
    i just dont like it when guys egolon og u girls like girly stuff ;p

    By Blogger jiji, at 19.2.06  

  • scarlo u get to love it as much as u want :)

    dr lost becoz there isnt only one true reason.. i think the ladies and gents here came up with atleast 5 plausible interpretations for one short story,
    the schizo-one being the least plausible imho

    erzulie salamtech just messing with u

    jiji
    when i said "girly stuff" i meant the emphasis on 'love' and the 'heartbreak'

    MBH and Metfarigh said it was a crush and left it at that .. i can relate to why they see it that way, and i think its more down to earth
    but to make it a "love story and nothing but.." is a bit girly
    that said, it has nothing to do with "being a girl".. becoz MSB for example didnt see it that way, fa it has nothing to do with the actual 'gender'.. wala yhemech sorry for being politically incorrect
    "its too pink" .. there, that settles that

    o ham la yehemich, we "men" all put on a macho/muscley show (?), and we're all hypocrites becoz deep down inside we're all "soft and passionate" and thats why we try so hard to prove otherwise
    which explains why we go "all defensive and stuff"

    u got the male psyche all figured out, chairz

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 19.2.06  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger jiji, at 19.2.06  

  • apology accepted :)

    hmm te6anaz 3alay ina i figured out the male mentality? ;p la ow aham shay ina "chairz" instead of cheers ;p

    boys will b boys ;p

    By Blogger jiji, at 19.2.06  

  • jiji i was being sarcastic, so no. men rnt "ruthless" .. e.g. would u say ur father is ruthless? i doubt it

    and i dont even know what "ur to q80 to see it" means

    that said, "pink love" isnt an 'emotion' in my opinion :)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 19.2.06  

  • mafahamt the part about "pink love" am not familiar with hooooolllllywood slangs ;p

    bs tara i didnt read all ur reply cuz i never thought it was all aressed to ma7soobtik "moi" ;p fa i after i commented "the ruthless comment" i went back up and read the whole thing again "o inga9 wayhey alf ge63a" so i deleted it 3ashan i re-comment ;p
    never thought ud answer this fast "mashhhhaaaallllaa 3alaik"

    By Blogger jiji, at 19.2.06  

  • back to the "story"
    if the guys makan y7eb the girl lesh yetkhayalha ba3ad ma matat? unless hes maynon or loved her to death, it doesnt make any sense :>

    ambeeh am toooo 7annaa :) thanx 3ala 6olat balik :)

    By Blogger jiji, at 19.2.06  

  • ..

    the guy was married, him and his wife were in an accident while he was driving, an SUV overtook them and their car went straight into a light

    his wife died

    colors are:
    white: wedding dress
    beige: what she was wearing in the accident
    gray and black: gone and dead
    white again: stereotype of "purity" as in angel

    when he turned to see the "transparent and non existent eyes" represents the time when he looked at his dead wife's body after the accident

    the bukhoor-thing was what his wife used to do

    i wanted to write "gedar" (القدر) instead of nisseeb but i didnt wanna limit the interpretations

    ..

    put it to rest

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 19.2.06  

  • ahaaaaaaa. hmm.. didn't give me an older kind of guy feeling. he felt youngish to me. Madre laish he has to be a bit older for his wife to die in a car accident, doesn't make sense, but thats how I feel it. too many subconcious stereotypes hopelessly built-in.

    As for girls liking "girly things". ofcourse they do, thats why they're called "girly" things :P

    By Blogger familiar_stranger, at 19.2.06  

  • Aha! I knew there was a reason for the goosebumps!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 19.2.06  

  • 7adddddddddda 3ajeeb. oh my God that was such a beautiful piece :(

    so ya3ni rifeeja kan 5ayif he wouldn't go because he'd be reminded of his wife? or what?

    beautiful. and i should try that bu5oor in the car lighter thing :)

    By Blogger Chicken Soup, at 24.2.06  

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