منهو فينا الي خسر

"The moment you start rationalizing it is the exact same moment you know it wasn't true. All I'm saying is love is just like being a faggot. You and I both know it doesn't make sense, so much in fact that we start trying to base it on science. This or that was genetically proven, this or that is the equivelant to the chemical reaction of so and so, man fuck all that. All you need to know in life is that you were never meant to get what you want, let alone expect what you want to be handed to you. The only thing handed to you in life from people you're not instant-family with is bullshit that doesn't mean anything in life. A fucking teacher acting like he did you a favour in showing you that 2 times 2 equals 4, like that ever did you any good. I mean if it was important in life, then you wouldn't be sitting here would you? So yes, that moment when you start rationalizing it, is the moment you know it wasn't true. You're sitting here, all sobby and teary eyed expecting me to sympathize when I just can't do that. A six year old who just lost her teddy bear cries, but she'll get over it. What makes you any different? What makes you so fucking special that you think it shouldn't have happened to you? Don't you say it, don't you say it.. you wanna say it don't you? You wanna go on and on and on telling me all about how good of a person you are and how people tend to think the best of you. Fuck you and the people you know who tend to think the best of you. You haven't done anyone any favours by being nice, and that's why those same people, those same motherfuckers who keep telling you 'oh you're a good person, you'll be fine, you'll be okay don't worry', that's why they keep telling each other that life ain't fair. Fuck you. Life is fair. I don't care how you look at it, it's still gonna be fair. You live, you die. And you have only one chance at living, and only one chance at dying. How you choose to live is why life is fair. It's not about being lucky, and it's not about how rich or poor you are. It's about circumstances giving you the finger and telling you to deal with it. I personally have come to terms with that, so here I am defending life as being fair. While you're sitting there thinking that sometime, somewhere, to someone, you did something, for some reason, and therefore you deserve better. Explain this to me like I'm a six year old, why? A situation has been presented, and you chose to act all classy or whatever and 'did the right thing' by some standard, which you then later convince yourself entitles you to better treatment. You need to grow up, that's all there is to it. The sooner you accept life being fair, the sooner you'll come to terms with it. It's not a game. It's not a contest. There's really no reason for you to want to win, simply because there is no opponent but yourself. Might as well go fuck yourself, if you ask me. Boy, I'll tell ya, because you think you did something right to someone you're a nice person, and because of that you think you're down to earth, and because of that you expect that there is something about life that in turn has to be fair and treats you right. And what's the first thing you start doing when stuff doesn't go the way you expected? You blame it on everyone but yourself. And even if you do blame it on yourself, that's just your pride talking. Even if you blame it to yourself, you still won't fucking get it. Because there is no one to blame. That's just the way it is. That's life, and that's why it's fair. You do your shit, I do mine, life does its, and we all live happily ever after. It's when you start taking my space, or life's, and presuppose you're entitled to some kind of special treatment and that it's okay for you to be doing that; it's then that you fuck it all up real nice.
And at the end, at the very end, you give up. You start to rationalize it, and then you know it was never true. You never really were entitled to nothing. It's then when you become a genius, it's then when you put knowing the equivelant of 2 times 2 to use. When you nod to the thought of: you can never do anything that will entitle you to any kind of special treatment, or shield you from any mistreatment. That's why life is fair. That's why you have to shut the fuck up, grow up, get up, and keep shutting the fuck up for the rest of time you have on this earth. It's what you make of it, and your thought of your being down to earth is the essence of your pride. You just try to rationalize it, and that's what makes it not true. When you think you're a good person, that's your pride talking. Your pride rationalizing the thought of entitlement; and that's why it can never be true. There's only sixteen ways to answer a question, and saying 'I dunno' is the best of them. And there's only sixteen ways to fuck up your life, and thinking that you're in love with someone who isn't a friend or family sums up all those sixteen ways real nice. You know I'm right because you're rationalizing why you loved that chick. And whenever you rationalize, you're excusing it from being true. Inzain, thaila wainhom tara ma saar 3asha," said 3ali, letting go of the playstation joystick and turning to 3abdalla sitting behind him to his right.


  • some of the very thoughts running through my head prior to me pulling up ur blog are written in black and white in this post!

    thanks for putting in writing some of what i was thinking!! (bs 3ali is long-winded, huh?) :)

    By Blogger MSB, at 2.4.06  

  • msb really? like what in specific if u dont mind

    and yeah, 3laiwi long winded + ilsana 6iweel ba3ad :p

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 2.4.06  

  • I was thinking along these lines at the end of my Christmas break last year. Not exactly the same, but some of the points there.

    Bad things happen to good people and bad people.

    I don't know if I can be a good person, but at least I should try to be a decent person.

    People will never be able to grow up as long as they keep making excuses. As long as you make excuses or 'rationalize' you're never able to admit responsibility.

    By Anonymous Sapphire, at 2.4.06  

  • sapphire
    i feel like an idiot when someone sums up a whole msg i want to convey in 2 words that i used 2000 words and still didnt get across:

    admitting responsibility..

    big factor.. responsibility, i would take the liberty to project, of coming to terms with the MAKING OF A MISTAKE KNOWINGLY

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 2.4.06  

  • hehe, my eyes hurt me.

    edit your post and split the whole block of text into paragraphs :p

    then ill give you a cookie of your choice :)

    By Anonymous Windwalker, at 2.4.06  

  • something tells me that this jomalh ohwa sebab el pos6 "And there's only sixteen ways to fuck up your life, and thinking that you're in love with someone who isn't a friend or family sums up all those sixteen ways real nice."
    too many F bombs for me :p
    ba3ad eshway ommi bitgoom o tegraa your pos6, lets see what she has to say :p

    By Blogger LaiaLy_q8, at 3.4.06  

  • windwalker
    salamtik ..
    choc cookie chip icecream maal baskin robbins :|

    before posting, i went over it again and ADDED more F's on purpose to make (some of) the reader(s) reluctant to accept whats being said lena ilsaan elwalad 6iweel

    o salmeely 3al waalda.. i remember gelteely garrat a post once bs never expected she still does.. ya bakhty :)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.4.06  

  • life is fair.. allah yarzeq kil wa7ed 3ala gadda.. musta7el allah yathlem a7ad min elbashar.. rabbik 3adil ow y7eb el3adil..

    By Blogger jiji, at 3.4.06  

  • temetwir: the whole making excuses thing.. the ppl thinking 'i dont deserve this'.. etc.. 7achee fathee. we do things, things happen to us, the world goes round, and it will continue regardless of how we FEEL or what we think should happen.

    ppl need to just live up to it, take what's come their way, and move on.

    i loved the 'entitlement' part.. seriously, who r we to decide what we deserve and what we dont?

    By Blogger MSB, at 3.4.06  

  • jiji
    mn na7yat baab il rizg, fa il mas'ala mas'alat ganaa3ah .. o elwa7ed yes'al: ay rezg ely eb balah aslan
    besmelah elra7man elra7eem

    وَلاَ يَحْسَبَنَّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ أَنَّمَا نُمْلِي لَهُمْ خَيْرٌ لِّأَنفُسِهِمْ إِنَّمَا نُمْلِي لَهُمْ لِيَزْدَادُواْ إِثْمًا وَلَهْمُ عَذَابٌ مُّهِينٌ

    wil moseeba ena fi naas tathrib el amthaal feehom wetgol "ka el rizg 3endehom belraqm mn kel el balawi (el motafag 3laiha o ma feha khelaaf) ely yesawoonha fa e7na ham khal niseer methelhom 3ashan Allah yarzig 3laina"

    naas wain wel man6eg wain..

    true.. el meshkela lama iflaan yeghali6 (knowingly, or unknowingly), o b3dain lama athaar hal ghala6 ten3ekis 3alaih salban .. yegom o yesawee feha "im a good person blah blah blah" or ppl around him tell him oh yeah dont worry it happens to everyone (tisseer b a7san el 3awaayil 3ala golat`hom)

    naasi, aw metnaasi, ena doing that mistake in the 1st place is what put him there .. y3ni ur doing it to urself, no one is imposing it

    this is really Sapphire's point: taking responsibility and handling consequences of ur misdoings (in the post, its obvious what 3abdalla has done)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.4.06  

  • do u have an issue with the F-word?

    By Blogger Baroque, at 3.4.06  

  • baroque
    no, do u?
    lena it sure looks like it if thats the only thing that caught ur eye

    anyway like i said to laialy i went over the piece and added a lot more on purpose to push (some of) the reader(s) over the edge, ena ya3ni ma yetgabeloun from the character what he's saying lena ilsana 6iweel

    im happy to say its working

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.4.06  

  • I liked the ending :P La eshda3wa, mo bs the ending. bs the ending caught my attention the most. oo 3ali yeb'3ala '3aseel elsan :P
    Bs 9a7 lsanek, ma 3ndy ethafat 3ala ma 8eel men a97abeya el 8orra2.

    By Anonymous Ghada, at 3.4.06  

  • Tem:

    Not at all, you shouldn't. Actually, I've been guilty of this for the longest time It was only until I had a very long talk with myself, thinking this through, that I came to this conclusion that one must grow up and move on. Perhaps that's the only reason I was able to sum this piece up so quickly, as I have recognized my own thoughts there.

    By Anonymous Sapphire, at 3.4.06  

  • ghada
    ya hala, o sa7 bdenich teslemeen

    makes sense
    and its abt time u had a space of ur own 3alashan tat7ifeena

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.4.06  

  • That scared me :(

    By Blogger Sedna, at 3.4.06  

  • Tem:

    Weeell, I've been blogging for the past five years now. The only reason I don't link to my blog, or have an account with blogger, is because I don't like the Kuwaiti blogosphere. I'll keep quite now, lest I offend some hard core Kuwaiti bloggers -_-;;

    I might take the plunge and make a blogger account soon, who knows? For now, I have my reasons.

    By Anonymous Sapphire, at 3.4.06  

  • Sedna
    good, i think

    point taken, and i think i understand where ur coming from


    By Blogger Temetwir, at 3.4.06  

  • Thank you brother for asking about me, things are crazy here. I am trying to graduate ASAP.
    Thanks again.

    By Blogger 3teej, at 3.4.06  

  • I think this is the longer version of the actual conversation :p

    Nice way to what a crush is and its relativity to life, without getting to religion (which most seem not wanting to understand)

    By Blogger MBH, at 3.4.06  

  • btw, Temetwir, if you're so in love with the F words, you should listen/read the lyrics of Limp Bizkit.

    One of his songs has 52 F words. I think it's a record...

    By Blogger MBH, at 3.4.06  

  • Methinks I like Ali. A bit. I mean, he's a bit too harsh and everything, but he's making lots of sense in what he's saying. Despite the fact that I'm overly romantic (which could be stupid, realy) but I likey.

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 3.4.06  

  • Lovely post Tem. love it.

    I like to think I should strive for what I want according to the methods illi Allah 3alamnayaha. And I'll expect to be treated the same way by others. if they don't I'll feel bad, 3aaaade. And its not "life" thats being fair or not, coz life doesn't exist, its just a term we made up to sum up the world around us. Whats truly in control of what we get and what we don't and what happens to us in "life" is Allah sub7ana. And saying Allah isn't fair is kufur wal3yath bAllah. so, I just a7terem nafse and have some humility before Allah wagol il7emdella :) (while still kicking and screaming to get what I want in "life" mind you ;)

    By Blogger familiar_stranger, at 3.4.06  

  • WOW... well put... people should be flexible and like moi 'bardeen' or cold in English accept things and stop making a fuss about it (oh well sob a little or make a little scene), oo bas 7'ala9 go on with ur life :)

    By Blogger متفرغ, at 4.4.06  

  • 3teej hala feeek! i know what that feels like allah ye3eenek o yewafgik inshalla
    all the best okhoy :)

    a) there was no actual conversation heh
    b) well noticed, i didnt want to get into religion and make it sound like 2 close-friends talking abt anything n everything w/o preach
    c) ive been saying this for the past n months, fuck's use isnt what u guys know it to be.. and to tell u the truth, ive switched to "bloody" in real life :| might as well use that n get this over with lena ba6aitaw chabdi b 7anatkom o ranatkom 3ala wala shay :p

    3ali, 3ali, 333333ali .. la7ad yegol Ali
    and yea, so u think anyone like 3ali can NOT be "romantic" ? i strongly disagree, for the record, but would like to see how u cut it

    a7sant, that is a MUCH shorter, more direct and humble way at looking at it .. to tell u the truth, i did base it on that; but then went on and inserted 'bad words' and gave the speaker 'an attitude' so a reader wouldnt be too accepting of what he has to say

    heh i think a paraphrase of ur reaction would be to say: expect nothing, and nothing shall disappoint u
    i definitely agree

    i really think that ppl 'everywhere' know this already and all, but it's when the 'feeling' is motivated from the actions or words of ANOTHER PERSON they know (as opposed to being a mere situation, like getting an F heh) then it strikes them as they dont deserve it and all that even thu the basis on which the relationship w/ that other person was 'wrong' (in my standards at least)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 4.4.06  

  • LoL!! Your post made me laugh :-)
    Where are all these frustrations (or are they?) coming from?

    Well you're entitled to your opinion about everything, but do not tell me how I should think.

    To me, being good is what I wanna be regardless of anybody else. I don't aim to be good to please anybody, not even God. I try to do so because it is my choice.

    And I do not brag about it, nor do I think I deserve well because of it. And i don't give a f**k what anybody says :-)

    As for life's fairness .. hmm .. well it all depends on how you view it. Personally, I don't tend to analyze life or its fairness .. I just live my life the way I want to .. I don't bother to assess it.

    hmmm .. what else .. oh nice post by the way.

    P.S. Love does exist .. bas Yimkin Int Ingarast Min il Love Gabul Faa Mitibi3 Siyasat self defense now, willa shrayik? :T

    By Blogger Hazolat, at 4.4.06  

  • Not saying that he isn't, you know, but he's not the typical kind of romantic, as I see. Which is good, since the definition of 'Romantic' nowadays is boring and dull and idiotic, holding hands and going to watch a film, what do you gain from that, really? I never could understand why couples call going to watch a film a 'date'. You're not talking to each other, for God's sake, you're just watching a bloody film and eating popcorn.

    Why am I being so off-topic these days?

    Sowwy ..

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 4.4.06  

  • hazolatahlain,
    bedaayatan, for the nth time the dialogue is supposed to come out as if from an opinionated (frustrated?) sick-n-tired male addressing his friend in response to something that has been said prior .. so determining where these frustrations come from is up to u, the reader

    btw im quite proud of myself that i did manage to guide the reader to where i wanted (some of) them to be: namely, on the fence

    to wanna be good is ur choice, yes, even if u make it known that it may not even be "le wajh elaah" methel maygolon,, but then again (based on the character's speech) this doesnt entitle u for anything .. so be all u wanna be, bs la teminn later on,
    u seem to have covered that, so great

    and i think ur "new" to my blog so i understand why u would jump to the conclusion that i (thru the character) believe that love doesnt exist - im just assuming ur addressing me personally in ur comment

    and allow me to deny that conclusion.. ie i do believe love exists, i just think (and have said prior in many posts) that love, being a 'live' thing, needs a context (an accredited institution 7ag gemmat el tefelsif) to live and operate in

    of which a premarital relationship of 7ebny wa7ebek o eb'aa aabelny is not one

    o salfat eny engarast o al7een 7aagid o madry sheno emlaazmatny mn awal ma balasht akteb ehni, so again: i understand why ud assume that

    point taken

    and 'romantic' nowadays includes valentines day

    i say: fuck valentines day :)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 4.4.06  

  • Wow, you should really be a drill sargaent you know that? :p

    I loved the comparison of love and homos ;p
    I'm not sure if you wrote this for the sake of the entry, or if you actually believe in all that you wrote, but life is all about taking risks and chances,and isnt love one of those risks?

    By Blogger Faith, at 4.4.06  

  • "i say: fuck valentines day :) "

    This is romantic. Really, I'm serious.

    By Blogger ScarlO, at 4.4.06  

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