Confessions of a Misspent Youth

Kuwait - 2002.

3ali and M7amad are still best friends. They were rolling in a C5 down the second ring road, dubbed shari3 il7ob. They were both 18 years old, and 2pac was swearing he would kill everybody of the "bitch-ass niggiz on the EaSide" in the background. Yeah, it didn't really go with what they were wearing. Clad in qetra o i3gaal, each one claiming the reserved rights to his own creation of el nasfa. The discussion going on was meaningless, both would tell you that much now. But at the time it sure was pretty much intense.

"Sadegny 3laiwi, nou3ha ghair .. hathy mo sowalifha ana a3arf il bent. Ment gadir 3alaiha lo 7awalt" announced M7amad, in hopes that 3ali would just shut up. You see, they thought they didn't have anything better to do than to discuss the "level of innocence" the 20 yead old girl they were talking about had. She was with M7amad in college, and 3ali knew her name and 'rep'. To 3ali, it was the thrill not only of the chase, but also to prove to M7amad that he did mean what he said about making Noor - the girl - fall for him.

You see, what M7amad did not know was that 3ali had already made Noor fall for him. What M7amad did not know was that Noor had just called 3ali while they were at the restaurant. What M7amad did not know, was that Noor was the one harassing 3ali with messages and missed calls to pick-up.
This really got on 3ali's nerves. It was his 'pride' up against itself. The pride he had in himself in proving that he can get what he set his mind to, and telling M7amad all about it. Against the pride he carries in that he believes that he does not 'kiss and tell'. They weren't complete assholes, afterall.

If you were wondering, 3ali never did tell M7amad about Noor. Infact, any time Noor would be mentioned, 3ali would just say "shakhbari, shyab el6aary". It was a game to him. Even now, he can't deny that it was a game. Sure, he did like her the most out of the five girls he 'spoke to' at the time, but it was still just a game.

Sitting now reflecting on the shallow kid he was, 3ali could not point out one single thing that could justify what he did. Fuck his content, he now realizes that these girls were pretty much all decent. Up until they met him, atleast. 3ali can only think of ways, lots and lots of ways, to explain how it was all wrong. Yet he can't even come up with one single excuse.

Not one excuse, except maybe that it was the girls' fault? But he voted against that. He agreed that it was his duty to take responsibility for his actions.

You see, what kills 3ali up to this day is that he believes he has the clarity now to know that these kinds of things are just plain wrong. Ofcourse, nobody would listen.

You could say that in his hopes of preventing hearts from being broken, he was the one left with the broken heart.