أرنوب ودبدوب

EDIT: please check diver's post here


"The key thing to remember is to always be passive. You never ever raise an eyebrow or ask a question. You don't go into detail either. You just sit there, and take in what she says. That's the key thing to remember," Badir instructed. He sounded serious, too serious in fact, as if he really knew what he was talking about.
Nayif shook his head faintly, "why? What happens if I do comment on what she has to say?" he asked. Badir looked to his left side rear view mirror and leaned in before changing lanes; as he sprung back he turned to his passenger. "Let's just put it this way, every girl who reaches a certain age and finds herself single happens to think that she needs to reimpose herself on the world. You just have the messed up luck of happening to be there when that self-reassurance is unloaded."

Nayif was not impressed, he lowered the volume of the music in the background. "You're basically telling me that any girl who tells me about guys who propose to her is lying? No one proposes in fact?".
Badir pulled out a cigarette from a pack and pushed the gear to neutral as they coasted to a stoplight, "no not really. But let's put it this way, we're at a stoplight right now, and in a second a car will come to your right. In that car will be one attractive young lady. You and I will take a peek, and she will catch us taking that peek. If she's the type, then she thinks that our little peek gives her the right to go talk to her girlfriends all about the two guys who wouldn't let her be in peace. Would she be lying, would she be dramaticizing, I don't know. I don't care. What I do know is that she can, would, and girls have done it. The question is why. And the answer is to feel special, wanted. Pretty enough to be sought after. That sort of bullshit," he mumbled the last words as he flicked the lighter to liven his cigarette.
Nayif looked to his right, "how does that relate to a girl being proposed to? What's your point?".

Badir rolled the car off the street, "my point is, when a girl gets proposed to then that's okay. It's natural. But when she comes to you and tells you all about it, she's gonna make a big fuss out of it. She will tell you that she didn't like the guy, and then she'll tell you that her aunts went crazy when they heard who he was. She may tell you that her youngest aunt called her and nagged her into accepting to see him again, if not the first time. The feeling not ready thing is a whole different issue. Not the point. Anyway. She'll want to make you believe that she is someone who is wanted by some guy who is himself wanted by many women. This is where you shut up, be quiet and be passive. Let her comfort herself. I'm not saying she'd be lying, maybe that guy really did propose, but she doesn't tell you because she confides in you; she tells you because she wants to feel sought after."
Nayif was tossing his mobile between his hands. Badir continued, "the thing you have to come to terms with is that all girls, to some degree, believe that they are queens of a kingdom that exists in their heads. If not that, then they want to feel as queens of some kingdom that exists somewhere. If that kingdom happens to be your ear, then she'll tell you all about her majesty's potential chances to getting hitched. Most of the time, she'll want to make you feel that you're talking to someone special. That's her way of showing you."
"What? Show me what?" Nayif asked.

"Showing you that she's special. By storytelling all about the guys who want her, and all the guys that she doesn't want. Reasons will vary, of course, but that doesn't change anything. The key thing to remember is to be passive."
Nayif let down his mobile, and started looking out the window, and back into the car to the radio.
"You can't really blame them, you know. They're programmed to it. Majority of them will even think that they are pressured to thinking about it They see their friends, cousins getting married. They go to weddings, they buy dresses. They keep up with what mothers and sisters say. With time, it gets old. And the girl knows it, only she'll never tell you that it gets old. Actually, she'll just come along and tell you that she's bored of all the hassle about urging her to get married. She'd be as if whining to you of her being fed up, of sorts."
Nayif nodded, "that is true. It did happen."

Badir scrubbed his cigarette off the ashtray, " yeah, it's the same idea. It's not about whether guys have followed her on the street; and it's not about decent gents proposing to her; nor is it about being invited to a lot of weddings and spending money on dresses. It's all about wanting to impose herself on the world, and she does that by telling you guys all about it. She will try hard to make it seem natural, and like an everyday occurance. These twenty three year olds are all about that. She will go that extra mile to make it seem that she doesn't care. All the while, the key thing to remember is to be passive."

They took a turn into Kaifan, slowing down for a speed bump. Nayif was silent, "you never had a girl tell you she'd like to get married? Make it seem like a wish?"
Badir shrugged, "sure. But it's not the norm. The overwhelming masses want you to think that they are the ones who repel the idea of marriage because they don't need it. Sure, some girls believe in that, and you gotta respect them for it. But in most cases, it's all make-believe."
Nayif shook his head, "I'm still not convinced that's why she told me."


  • what i would love to know is, how do u know so much about women? it's very true (with the majority)!

    By Blogger MSB, at 14.7.06  

  • apart from this post. im waiting to here ur say on leb.

    By Blogger Bloo, at 14.7.06  

  • thnk u for adding my post to yours its really an honor if u liked the first read the second


    By Blogger Diver, at 15.7.06  

  • you... you good you :)

    By Blogger 7asoon, at 15.7.06  

  • vintage,
    my say on lebanon:
    - this did not start in July 2006, so i am very very disappointed in those who treat it as if it is.
    - "7ezballah" have been fighting israel for the past 24yrs, so i'm not sure which 'peace' people keep talking about that has been disrupted.
    - i reserve the right to 7ezballah's resistance because history speaks for itself, they dont need me or anyone to 'accept' them, because their accomplishments speak for themselves
    - i am appalled by the short-sighted knit wits who ask "what has 7ezbalah gained?" 2 hours after the bombings of beirut.. this spirit of giving up is what is messing "us" up..
    this has always been a war, only those new to the scene would ever think that this is because of the 3-in-total israeli soldiers taken hostage
    - i am appalled by those who want to make this a sectarian issue .. if 7ezbalah are "shee3a", then 7amaas are "sinna" .. so now what, what's the point? how does this change the fact that the cause is to unite to free all of the occupied lands
    this is very very broad, please ask a specific question and we'll pick it up from there

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 15.7.06  

  • msb,
    "i know a lot of things about a lot of things" - love that line, just wanted to say it
    seriously though, glad you confirm (some of) the ideas in the piece, making it authentic as opposed to judgemental

    no, thank you sir


    By Blogger Temetwir, at 15.7.06  


    By Blogger Chai-7aleeb, at 15.7.06  

  • chai-7aleeb,
    CHAIRZ! heh

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 15.7.06  

  • Nayif seems like such a dope :P lol he always needs clarification! but i like it because it gives realism...

    now, you hit many good points i'd like to comment on, like the make-believe idea, of those girls who try to be cute and whine about everyone and their dog wanting to marry them, bas "eff!! malee khlg" is their response, it's really old and unoriginal...and i hate it when girls pretend , like you said, they are the queens of their lil kingdoms in their heads and yes you little miss independent you, about to change the world..

    By Blogger Faith, at 15.7.06  

  • temetwir, u speak like an unrealistic warrior, much like what is needed right now, unrealistic warriors, because reality denies u technically the right to do anything at all. even to well equipped groups like 7amas and 7ezbullah. i would rather be in lebanon right now than any where else in the world, but that's just me.. don't u think its scary if u were dragged to something u didnt choose? so is the feelings for many lebs/arabs.. they have not exceeded the gate from reality to non. they still think of issues like: my children/my education/ my love/ my unpaid morgage. ... stuff unrealistic people never start to ponder at.

    i know watching CNN has frustrated you, u will be better off visiting israeli newspaper sites : haaretz.com, and ynetnews.com and read the opinion articles. there on the other line, people who share our view seeing the operations: summer rain, and just reward as unneccessary.

    By Blogger Bloo, at 15.7.06  

  • faith,
    glad u too attest to the 'reality' of the discussed

    what you and i may call passion driven by faith is sometimes labelled as terrorist and extremist .. sometimes even "unpatriotic" in the sense that "your loyalty lays not to your country but elsewhere"

    i do not think that is disheartening at all .. but i do think it is pathetic

    thanks for the site, ill make sure to refer to it from time to time :)

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 16.7.06  

  • You just used Nayif to say what you wanted to say :P Smart though...

    By Blogger Sedna, at 16.7.06  

  • sedna,
    shma3na ana mo Badir?

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 16.7.06  

  • Hell, 7etta Badir maskeen. You used him too!! :P

    By Blogger Sedna, at 17.7.06  

  • loves it, you should gather a good bunch of those journals and publish a book

    By Blogger WS, at 17.7.06  

  • sedna,
    my personal stance is a mix of what's there in the post and also of somethings not mentioned

    but yeah, me and a friend talked about this but in a different sense and that's where am coming from in this post :)

    thank you for the kind words, much appreciated
    not sure but i think ur a 1st timer, welcome and stick around

    By Blogger Temetwir, at 18.7.06  

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